Remember when we used to stay awake late at night talking on the phone, laughing about how we were a while ago, talking and dreaming of how we will be in the future? Remember when you'd send me text messages telling me you love me and that I should believe it cause it's true? Remember when people would say that we're too young to be in love and you'd tell me, that we'd prove them wrong ?

I used to think those days would never end. I thought every day, every moment would be like those moments with you. I thought what we had was something worth fighting for. I got blinded by my fantasy that one day I will end up with you and you will end up and me. We believed in love forever, but I guess we're just not meant to be. You are my first and I thought you'd be the last. 

We tried to fight for it, we tried but I guess we became tired. Something went wrong. Something was different. I realized that there are just things in life that that this world deprives us of.  And I guess we just drifted apart. Sometimes, letting go is less painful than holding on. The pain that I'm feeling right now is nothing compared to the happiness that I felt then with you. I am glad that I am in so much pain because that would explain how much I loved you. Pain is sometimes a beautiful thing, It  may take days, months or even years for me to get over you, but don't worry I'll move on. 

          And so I thank you, I thank you for the broken heart. Thank you for making me feel special when I felt that I wasn't. Thank you, for being there when I needed you most, for the patience because I know it wasn't an easy ride with me. Thank you for making me feel wanted and loved. Thank you for those warm hugs that made me feel so special. for those i love you's that always gave me butterflies, for the promises we made, i know they were true then. Thank you for this love story, this beautiful tragedy.

          At first I was scared to death about going to college. I thought I wasn't ready, so the first day came and I met some people and I met friends. We talked and yeah we got along just fine. 

        I did not expect to be this close to them, I am amazed that even though we don't always agree about somethings we try to work our way of that mess and know that we can still be friends despite our differences. 

Aika, She is the japanese of the squad. She has that weird habits that we find funny.She and Jona are kinda the same when it comes to personalities. 

Jona, the Ate, understanding, peacemaker of the group, she is one of those funny-but-know-when-to-be-serious people.

Yanna, She is the clean freak one. She always has to have everything in place.

Jessa, The most ladylike among us. She acts as if she really thought a lot about her actions. 

         We would always be the playful ones in class, we love laughing about random things, we tell each other almost everything. We love being silly together, but we know when to be serious. 

         With friends like them, I realize college is not so bad after all, There may be those all-nighters and crammings but hey, with friends like them on your side, you wont even notice time passing by. 

      

I hate history subjects, they make you memorize dates, people and events that happened in the past. Sure at times, it is fun and somehow amazing to know the things they did then for the freedom that we are experiencing now. Yes, we try our best to memorize the dates, people and events that happened, but we do not really understand the gravity of what they were fighting for. For the simple reason that we do not know how it feels to be oppressed, we do not know what it feels to be in a war, we are clueless. 

And so with the progress of technology and continuous learning of people, mass media made the best Philippine history movie ever made. In the beginning of the movie it opened with a disclaimer, saying that although historical accuracy is important, we sometimes need to mix fiction with facts for us to arrive at the more important truths about our nation.

There are things that I realized after watching the movie:

I still remember our laughs together. The way we talk about everything (and i mean absolutely everything). We would talk about the people around us, the people we don't like and the people that we like. We would also talk about what were going through, what we want to be in the future. I remember so clearly when you would go to my place and we would just chill. Oh, and I would never forget how we loved  (we had no choice) to eat ready-made carbonara and hot chocolate (weird combination. I know.) When we can't decide what to wear you would go to my place with your clothes and we'll decide together what to wear. We would try on each others' clothes and laugh about how we'd look in it

Ever since I have always been thin, thin as in super thin.. And it has always been my insecurity. Being thin made me feel ugly. Not only that shopping was always hard for me. I had to try different types and different brands of clothes just to find the right one, because some clothes we're always too big or too short for me. It didn't help that I was kinda tall.

Growing up, people would tell me a lot of things about my weight. When I was little, my friends would tease me about my weight. It wasn't funny then, and it still isn't now. I always get irritated when people ask me if I do eat. Sometimes I would answer them "well duh?", but I guess I couldn't blame them. Other people would tell me, "you should be a model, gosh you're so thin". I always wondered if it was really a compliment, or are they assuming that I am starving myself to death because I want to be a model. 

Of all the things that people would tell me about my weight, the one phrase that really hurt me most: "If only you'd gain a little weight, you'd be beautiful". Of course I would laugh it off, sometimes answer with a joke. But deep inside i'm hurt. Deep inside a sentence of a nobody, is tearing my self-esteem apart. I felt ugly. I felt weird, I felt wrong. As if being thin was my choice, 

I did not want to be this thin. I eat a lot and I eat some more. And I am still thin. I've been to the doctor, I've taken medicines, I've drank those weight gain stuff. And. I. Am. Still. Thin. I do want to gain a little weight but I just can't. The thing that actually annoys me is that people keep repeating on saying that I'm thin as if I do not realize it myself. HELLO? I know I am stick-thin, there is absolutely no need to remind me. There is enough mirror in this world to remind me that. So just stop. 

Stop shaming people because of their physical appearance. Beauty is not defined by kilos. Beauty is being you. And it goes both ways, to the fat people out there, to those who are trying to lose weight but still can't. CHEERS. YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN ME. Don't let anybody dictate to you what beauty is, and what beauty isn't. You are beautiful. period. no if's no but's. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. 

Let me start this blog (omg i have my own blog *faints*), by introducing my self. My name is Eno, I'm a girl (I know, my name is so not feminine). I'm eighteen years old, a normal girl with big dreams.